Christmas
Annual Meeting of the Archangels



The First Sunday before Christmas

(Stage directions: God is to be high up on a ladder. The ladder is covered with a white sheet over pillows, intended to look like a billowy cloud. There are four angels below God. Each angel is on a ladder also, decorated to look like clouds. The angels are dressed in traditional angel costumes, with wings, etc. For the entry, the organ plays "Angels We Have Heard on High," as the four angels (carrying briefcases, clipboards, etc.) enter from four different directions. Angels ham it up as they enter and greet one another. When the angels are in place, the organ thunders more deeply, perhaps into the "Hallelujah Chorus" from Handel's Messiah, and God, who has been hidden behind the altar, climbs up the ladder as this thunderous music is playing. The angels bow deferentially to God as he climbs on ladder. When God is in place, the organ stops. … In the year 2000, a throne was created with billowy clouds around it, all covered with white clothe material, and the four archangels were four gabby teenagers, dressed an angels.) 

GOD 
This meeting shall come to order. Are all archangels present and accounted for? Michael?

MICHAEL 
I'm here Lord.

GOD 
Gabriel?

GABRIEL
At your service, Lord.

GOD
Raphael?

RAPHAEL 
At your command Lord.

GOD 
Uriel?

URIEL
At your bidding, Lord.

GOD
Good. All four archangels are present for the annual meeting of the board. As you archangels know, we gather here each year to hear a summary of what is happening throughout my universe. I want a report.... Michael?

MICHAEL
Yes, Lord.

GOD
How are things in the black holes of celestial space?

MICHAEL
Fine Lord, the universe is still expanding at the speed of light into the black holes of space, just as you planned. Also, the outer edges of the universe are constantly being pushed back.

GOD
Good. Gabriel, how are the stars doing?

GABRIEL
This has been a good year for stars, God. In fact, I would say a banner year. They are growing at such a rapid number, it won't be long and the whole universe will be dotted with stars.

GOD
Magnificent. Raphael, how are the galaxies doing? I know they are all bent out of shape. (God laughs and so do the archangels in response to God's laugh)

RAPHAEL
That's a good one, God..... The elliptical galaxies are taking about a billion years to take form.... just as you planned. In contrast, the spiral galaxies... you know, with the lacy pinwheel shapes..... they are taking a little longer.... but as you designed them.

GOD
Uriel, how are things on earth.... that favorite little planet of mine.... you know, that little planet where I put life so many years ago. How is it doing down there?

URIEL
You know, God

ALL FOUR
Awful!!!!

URIEL
Lord, there are wars and wars and more wars down on earth. China. Persia. Gaul. And the Roman Empire... they have smashed everyone around them. It's Cain and Abel all over, murder upon murder. Earth is not a safe place to live.

MICHAEL
Hunger. So much hunger. Lord, there is plenty of food on planet earth. The soil is good. The water is good. The food supply is good. But God.... those human beings are a greedy lot.... hoarding all the food for their own families and there own nations.

GABRIEL
Hate to tell you this God, but a whole lot of the human race has forgotten you. They're so busy, they don't have time to think of you.

RAPHAEL
They say you don't exist... that you didn't create the universe.... the earth just happened.... an accident.

GOD
Accident??

URIEL 
They say that when they die, that's all there is. No eternal life. No eternal God.

GOD
They never learn. But it was soooooo nice.... the earth... when I first created it. It was like a garden. A perfect garden. A paradise. Sooooooo wonderful. Sooooooo beautiful!

MICHAEL
But you remember what happened? It was a looooong time ago..... the snake?. The devil? The fallen angel? Lucifer?

GABRIEL
You remember Lucifer used to sit on our board here.

RAPHAEL
He got real proud.... thought he was bigger and smarter than you, God.

URIEL
Then you kicked him off the board and he went down to earth.... and created a real mess down there.

ALL FOUR 
A real mess.

GOD
Yahhhhhhh. Of course, I remember..... and I've been trying to get that earth of mine straightened out ever since. How I love the earth. All my children. The trees, the plants, the animals. Especially the colors and sounds. Yes, I love my earth.

MICHAEL
You are love itself God. We know that. (others nod yes)

GABRIEL
You are beauty itself God. We can see that. (others nod yes)

RAPHAEL
You are intelligence itself God. You designed the universe. (others nod yes)

URIEL
Your invisible spirit lives in the whole universe, including in those human beings.

GOD
Those humans beings down on earth. I've got to get through to them.... teach them.... to love... to walk in my ways. I've got to get through to them!! 

MICHAEL
(Angels begin talking to each other and not God) We archangels can come up with some ideas on how to communicate with earth.... How about another flood? You know, like the one during the time of Noah. Drown most of them. That'll get their attention.

GABRIEL
I got a better one than that, Michael. How about fire. Burn the earth. Zap it with fire. Bring fire down on the earth. Fry em, I say.

RAPHAEL
Michael, God won't send a flood. Remember the rainbow? The promise of the rainbow? And Gabriel, God won't send fire. He's saving fire for hell. Remember? I liked it best when God communicates through... the still small voice (softly, lightly).... when God's voice speaks to the still small voice found in all human beings.

URIEL
No, Raphael.... God was always more effective with loud raging voices.... (shouts) like those of the prophets. Isaiah. Jeremiah. Ezekiel. They shouted and yelled and made noise when they communicated.

MICHAEL
Dreams. God always does best through dreams.

GABRIEL
No. Visions. Without visions, the people perish.

RAPHAEL
Conscience. People have a sense of right and wrong. That's the best way for God to communicate.

URIEL
How about sending us angels.

ALL FOUR 
Yes, we're the best way!

MICHAEL
We can fly!

GABRIEL
We can dance.

RAPHAEL
We can sing.

URIEL
Show time! The people will love it. Send them a thousand angels all at once..... a choir in the sky.

GOD
Very good, archangels, but I have been thinking.....

ALL FOUR 
Ooooohhhh.... ohhhhhh....

GOD
About the possibility of communicating directly with the human race......

ALL FOUR 
Huhhhhh?

MICHAEL
Out with it God, what are you up to? 

GABRIEL
What's your plan this time, God.

RAPHAEL
Your new ideas make us nervous.

URIEL
Come on God, tell us. We can't wait.

GOD
Well...... I've been thinking about coming to earth.... myself.... as a human being.

ALL FOUR 
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

GOD
Yes.

MICHAEL
You've got to be joking.

GOD
No joke.... but there is some humor to the whole idea.... me as a human being and all.

GABRIEL
God, it's beneath your dignity to become human.

RAPHAEL
Human beings get old, senile and die.

URIEL
Human beings are the crown of your creation.... the jewels of earth.... but, butttttt...... really God.

MICHAEL
God, you can see, we archangels don't think it's fitting for you.... being God and all..... to become.... human.

GOD
Aaahaa.

GABRIEL
And besides, think of all the complications it will cause if you choose to become human.

RAPHAEL
That's right. What race will you come as? There are as many colors of skin as there are colors in the rainbow.

URIEL
Will you come with brown skin?

MICHAEL
Black skin?

GABRIEL
Yellow skin?

RAPHAEL
Red skin?

URIEL
Pink skin?

MICHAEL
See, God, you will show favoritism if you choose one color over another.

GABRIEL
Choose bright blue, God. There's no bright blue ones down on earth.

ALL FOUR 
(Laugh) That's a good one Gabriel. (slapping their knees as they laugh boisterously)

GOD
Aaahaa.

MICHAEL
And what sex would you choose?

GABRIEL
If you come as a boy, people will think God is male.

RAPHAEL
And if you come as a girl, people will think God is female.

URIEL
So maybe you better come as a "boy-irl or "girl-oy"," but there isn't such a thing as a "boy-irl" or a girl-oy". (other angels laugh)

GOD
Aaahaa.

MICHAEL
See God, it gets real complicated, if you come as a human..... and besides, what nation would you choose?

GABRIEL
People would expect you to come as an Egyptian... because with their superiority they built the pyramids.

RAPHAEL
And others would expect you to be a Roman.... because of their mighty armies. 

URIEL
Yes, but I think you should come as Chinese... because they have an ancient artistic civilization.

MICHAEL
So you see, God, it's not a good idea. Whatever nation you choose, that nation would think they were the most favored nation of the world.... that you loved them more than the others.

GOD
Aaahaa. I've got a plan. Yes, I have a plan. I haven't told you about it.

MICHAEL
Well, God, you could plan to go as a banker.... if the greatest human need is for money. (other three nodding yes)

GABRIEL
If the greatest human need is technological progress, you could plan to go as a scientist. (other three nodding yes)

RAPHAEL
If the greatest human need is education, you could plan to go as a professor. (other three nodding yes)

URIEL
If the greatest human need is pleasure, you could plan to go as an entertainer. (other three nodding yes)

GOD
Those are all good ideas, but (slowly, with authority) the greatest human need is for forgiveness.... love... and eternal life.... so I plan to come as a savior.... to save them from their sin, so they can live eternally with me.

MICHAEL
But...

GABRIEL
But...

RAPHAEL
But....

URIEL
But....

GOD
I have a plan, I told you. I have a plan. I am going to come to earth as a..... child.... as a newborn baby (angels gasp, etc.)..... right out from the womb of a young mother (angels shocked).... truly and fully human flesh.

ALL FOUR 
NOOOOOOOOO (astonished gestures)

MICHAEL
As a baby?

GABRIEL
Crying and screaming?

RAPHAEL
Gurgling and pooping? (angels laugh)

URIEL
No one...... no one will believe this.

GOD
Don't you understand. I want to be fully human.... so I fully understand what it means to be human. Yes.... and I will be born in poverty.... to a poor family..... I'll be born in a barn.

MICHAEL
In a barn..... with a bunch of animals?

GABRIEL
With horses and cows and donkeys?

RAPHAEL
And chickens and ducks and geese?

URIEL
It'll smell. It could be cold out there in a barn in the dead of winter.

GOD
Yes, it will be really cold. And I will be wrapped in swaddling clothes and put into the warmth of cattle straw. And I will grow up knowing what it means to be poor. That is my plan...... and further, I will be born in the Jewish nation.

MICHAEL
The Jews? I've barely heard of them.

GABRIEL
They are the nobodies of nobodies.

RAPHAEL
How about the Egyptians? The Romans? The Chinese?

URIEL
God, we archangels don't get it.

GOD
And so that you more fully understand, my occupation will be that of a carpenter.

MICHAEL
A carpenter? You gunna work with your hands? You'll never get rich..... or respected. How about a governor, a ruler, a president?

GABRIEL
Or a doctor, a nurse, a healer?

RAPHAEL
Or a millionaire, billionaire or trillionaire?

URIEL
Or a general, admiral, commander of armies?

GOD
And then..... this is the key to my plan... after having lived about 30 years as a human being, I, I, I, I..... (slowly) will be executed on a cross.... and die..... for the sins of the whole world.

ALL FOUR 
(Stunned silence. They gasp. Put their hands on their mouths and in horror. They look at each other and say nothing)

GOD
(slowly) Don't be dismayed. And then I will be raised from the dead by the power me, the power of God to demonstrate to them that my life and my love are for all eternity. (brief, significant pause)

MICHAEL
God.... do we get a vote on this one? Being respectful and all, this plan may not work. 

GABRIEL
Yah, somewhere in our constitution someplace, I think we have a right to vote.

RAPHAEL
That's seems fair to me. Let's vote.

URIEL
I'll count the votes.

MICHAEL
All against God's plan.... raise your hands (four hands go up)

GABRIEL
That's it.

RAPHAEL
The nos have it.

URIEL
I'll record it in the minutes.

GOD
You may vote, and, Uriel, you may record it in the minutes. But you know the rules: I have the final say.... it's a good plan.... it will work.... (slowly) Just think..... pure love in human form.... (slowly and fully) pure forgiveness in the body of a human being.... my love is so great, I will die for the whole world.... yes my plan will work.....

MICHAEL
When? When?.... Soon?

GABRIEL
A thousand years?

RAPHAEL
A billion years?

URIEL 
Tomorrow?

GOD
(laughs heartily) Today! My plan has already begun. My plan has been moving forward for the past nine months.

GABRIEL 
That's the message I sent. (other archangels nod in surprised understanding, whispering, "Gabriel, of course")

GOD
December 24th..... the night of December 24th.... It's time to go. It's time to go. It's time to go. She.... Mary that is, is ready to deliver. And the four of you? You will be in the choir.... above the barn.... up in the sky... with all the angels and all the hosts of heaven..... you'll be there to watch.... and sing..... it's time to go.

(Organ plays "Angels We Have Heard on High..... God comes down ladder and moves to front and center)

GOD
(From top step, front and center, God speaks: "FROM HEAVEN ABOVE.... TO EARTH I COME." As God moves down the aisle, he stops and says).... COME MICHAEL (he comes; God takes another step). COME GABRIEL (she comes; God takes another step). COME RAPHAEL (he comes; God takes another step). COME URIEL (she comes). God and four archangels gather and pause at the end of the aisle. COME.... COME... COME... ALL OF YOU... TO THE HOLIEST NIGHT ON EARTH! (bellows last line from rear of sanctuary; God and archangels bow and recess)


Organ moves into a fanfare of "Angels We Have Heard on High" and the congregation stands for the singing of this hymn.

Drama from 1994: God was played by Ted Hutchinson, Uriel by Sue Volden, Michael by Edward F. Markquart, Gabriel by Christine Palmer, Raphael by John O’Neal. 

Drama from 2000: God was played by Buck Kittelson, Uriel by Katie Whitley, Michael by Kelsey Krippaehne, Gabriel by Mary Eichholtz, Raphael by Katie Harmon.


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